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The Sweetbrier Sessions

by Chris Shepard

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1.
A Little Song 02:37
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I'm gonna write a little song A little song, the kind of song They put in independent movies Soft and cute and kind of quirky Just a little film about a nerd And some cute girl he likes a lot And how they'll grow up somehow Even though the movie has no plot It has no plot A little film for little people Doing little things In little Midwest towns And wearing all their retro little clothes It's a new cult classic With its dialogue that never happens In the real world But we'll let it pass because it's quotable It's so quotable I guess by now you've noticed That I wrote a song without a chorus That's the way you write a song For independent movies Just a little song to get you in the mood And make you feel so clever All your friends are coming over And they'll all think you're so cool You're so cool And you can say you saw it at Sundance Your secret's safe with me 'Cause we both know you saw it last weekend On IFC I'm gonna write a little song A tiny little song you might expect To hear the little hero Of this movie sing A little movie by a little guy And a director who you've never heard of But at least he isn't Jerry Bruckheimer He's not that guy I hope you've enjoyed my little song And now, the opening credits are done
2.
Bad Chicken 03:07
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Living hard in the land of plenty All alone in a room of many Prone to occasional anger flare-ups He was born in a lab No one in his family Will let him have pictures of their children It's so hard to think; he's so backed up He'll turn you out for his attention Bad Chicken, Bad Chicken... Making the scene and working the room Shaking hands with the hand of doom Smoking crack in Switzerland With his loyal army of prostitutes Hiding behind the barn door Making his alliances with sheep Dragging his hydrocele around He speaks with authority Bad Chicken, Bad Chicken... It's all about kissing that Bad Chicken ass If you wanna get in black and white Half blind with cataracts He shows up early, steals the gravy Fresh out of metaphors His perception is reality Pollo malo...
3.
Everybody's Out To Get Me 04:41
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Everybody's out to get me Out to get me Everybody's out to get me Everybody's trying to paint me as incompetent, incompetent Everybody's out to get me Nobody likes me Everybody's out to get me Everything's been so hard I think it's time I found a new schoolyard I've tried to be so nice But my future wife is cold as ice If they don't like me I'll burn this whole place down Everybody's out to get me Everybody's out to get me Nobody likes me Everybody's trying to paint me as incompetent, incompetent Everybody's out to get me Nobody likes me Everybody's out to get me You piss on my endeavors I can stare at you like this forever You think I am below you But you see the face I choose to show you And if you don't like me, I'll burn this whole place down Everybody's out to get me Out to get me Everybody's out to get me Everybody's trying to paint me as incompetent, incompetent Everybody's out to get me Nobody likes me Everybody's out to get me etc I've got you in my mind Now I'm sitting here just biding time To say I'm mentally defective Makes me feel so ineffective You can all go straight to Hell You just want to feel good about yourselves By putting me down and dragging me down And putting and dragging me down And if you don't like me, I'll burn this whole place down Everybody's out to get me Out to get me Everybody's out to get me Everybody's out to get me Out to get me Everybody's out to get me Everybody's trying to paint me as incompetent, incompetent Everybody's out to get me Everybody's out to get me Nobody likes me Everybody's out to get me Out to get me Everybody's trying to paint me as incompetent, incompetent They all think I'm stupid They don't get me But you'll get me
4.
Corn Pone 01:20
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Corn pone Lovin' that down home corn pone flavor tonight Corn pone Rockin' and a rollin' with a corn pone dinner tonight Corn pone Cookin' up some corn pone Doin' that pone up right Corn pone Rockin' with the corn pone Corn pone dinner tonight Corn pone Lovin' up the corn pone Havin' me another bite of that Corn porn Eatin' some corn pone Corn pone dinner tonight Corn pone Lovin' that down home corn pone flavor tonight Corn pone Rockin' and a rollin' with a corn pone dinner tonight Corn pone Cookin' up some corn pone Doin' that pone up right Corn pone Rockin' with the corn pone Corn pone dinner tonight Corn pone Lovin' up the corn pone Havin' me another bite of that Corn pone Corn pone kitty Corn pone kitty tonight
5.
Justified 03:30
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98 bottles of beer on the wall And a 5 gallon bottle of gin A big stuffed head of a deer on the wall And he's gone out huntin' again He shot that bird right out of the sky And he stuffed him into a bag He shot a squirrel or two And a fox and a rabbit Then he caught sight of a stag He loads the ammunition He sets his shot up so perfectly He didn't hear the shot from a man With a 30 ought 6 in an old deer stand Their fading eyes met across the forest floor I call that justified It was down to the wire for 20 to life And the gavel's coming down He had his life on the line with his head on the block And the attention of the town That son of a bitch was guilty as sin And his lawyer ran the show Said there ain't no proof in a "he said, she said" Judge just let him go His crime produced an offspring That boy, he grew up fast...fast and mean He was the top cop on the block And one night on a routine traffic stop His long lost dad drew a piece And that boy shot him dead I call that justified When a dog bites the hand that binds I call that justified When you're blown apart by your own landmine I call that justified When you're killing on safari and your elephant gun jams And you're laying there flat as a pancake in the Serengeti sand That's justified When a dog bites the hand that hits I call that justified When you're making bombs at home and blown to bits That's justified When you're choking on foie gras and veal I call that justified When poachers become lion meals I call that justified If you're in that mob mentality and you join in her attack When you're on your knees in Cell Block B Those boys'll get you back If you're thumping the good book and full of hate I hope you like it hot 'Cause you might just find out that The afterlife's not what you thought That's justified
6.
Gonna Find That Dog 02:11
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Gonna find that dog Gonna find that dog It's four in the morning Gonna find that damn dog He's barking at the wind Let that damn dog in Now, he's got me out of bed Gonna find that dog Gonna find that dog Gonna find that dog Gonna call all my neighbors and ask "Is that your dog?" I already told you I sleep like a soldier On high alert Gonna find that dog Gonna find that damn dog Damn my sleepy eyes And my thoughts of canicide Gonna find that dog Gonna yell at your dog I've got my bottle rocket Gonna scare your dog Gonna find that dog Gonna find that dog It's four in the morning Gonna find that damn dog
7.
Kick The Ladder Out 02:54
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There's a lot of talk of taking away I hear they're taking away Don't really know what I know But I know what they're telling me I know how to say what they're telling me They're gonna take it away I've got something that they all want to have What they need, but they're telling me it's not a right So they're telling me I've gotta keep it all to myself If I've got it and they've got it then it's not my own It's a big boondoggle Everybody everybody who's anybody knows It's a whole lot of rubble It's as plain as the face on the front of your nose I made it Kick the ladder out They keep telling me they want their rights And the rights are the rights of the whites like me They keep telling me they want to move in Don't want to live in sin They want to sin like me They keep telling me he's not my man He's from a foreign land He's not a man like me They keep telling me, they're telling me The things that I want to hear I want to live in fear It's a big boondoggle Everybody's somebody who nobody knows We're in a whole lot of trouble It's a whole lot of holes where the money goes I made it Kick the ladder out They keep telling me he's selling us out When he kowtow bows and he's selling us Selling us something we don't need 'cause we already have But nobody else has But we have, so we don't need If they give everyone what we have What we have won't be worth giving away They keep telling me we need disparity and relativity We need poverty It's a big bamboozle By everyone The One sees fit to anoint It's a mass refusal It's as plain as a palm reader's talking points I made it Kick the ladder out
8.
If You Don't Want Me 06:17
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I've taken my time And I've given it But you've got your life And you're living it And it feels like Fall today And a feeling of change has washed over me And I've got only one thing to say If you don't want me... I don't want you Maybe I've tried a little too hard And pushed you away just a little too far But I'm too old to pretend That I can't see the imminent end So it's good night and lights out, my friend If you don't want me... I don't want you I've gone over everything That I can think to change And I've given enough of my soul I'm tired of wasting my time on futility So now I'm releasing your hold If you don't want me... I don't want you So I'll go it alone As I always have There's no use in fooling myself In my little world there is no one else And I'm thinking I like it that way If you don't want me... I don't want you
9.
I Don't Do It For You 05:01
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I don't do it for the chicks I don't do it for hicks I try to keep out of politics I don't do it for the money Or to change the world And I won't play Buffett or Brown Eyed Girl I don't do it for the paper or the radio And if you want it turned down Then the answer's No I'm not trying to build a feel-good community And I don't really care what you think of me I don't do it for you... x2 I don't do it for dogs I don't do it for frogs Bad Chickens or the people of Prague I don't do it for the Pope or the Government Or a 50 lb bag of peppermints I don't do it for the kids Or to free Tibet For the long-haired hippies Or the New York Mets I don't do it for a gold-plated statue That I'll keep in the laundry room I don't do it for you... x2 I don't do it for fame Or a fancy car Or to cop free drinks at an upscale bar I don't do it for drugs Or to get V.D. Or to flash my cooch on TMZ I don't do it for a mansion in Malibu I don't do it for Horton When he hears a Who I don't do it for 3 When I gotta do 4 I do it when I do it Cause I gotta do more But I don't do it for you... x2 It always makes me sick to see somebody courting relevance If only they'd have stayed at home they might get some respect from me But in this land of rampant greed, there is no room for dignity. I don't do it for you... I don't do it for an image Or to be the brand I don't care if you're Dylan Or the Muffin Man I don't do it for weddings Or the dinner crowd Hosni Mubarak or Chairman Mao I don't do it for the jerks At the end of the road Purple People Eaters Or Mr. Toad I don't do it for the Bible Or Moby Dick Or that dog-killing motherfucker Michael Vick And I don't do it for you... x2 I don't do it for the critics Or a pat on the back I don't do it for the press Or a bag full of crack I don't do it for polls I don't do it for moles Charities Or cinnamon rolls I don't do it for anonymous online friends I don't do it 'cause I need to Keep up with trends I don't do it for strippers Or Mickey Roarke Ronald Reagan or Robert Bork I don't do it for you... x4 I don't do it for the people of Belarus Or a 5 gallon bucket Of chocolate mousse I don't do it for the neighbors Or their yappy dogs I don't do it for Legos Or Lincoln Logs I don't do it for Tron Or Winnie the Pooh John the Baptist or Mr. Magoo I don't do it for the church Or the fear of Hell Cosmo or Mademoiselle I don't do it for PETA AIDS or falafel Or Thelma's Chicken & Waffles I don't do it for tequila Or Mountain Dew I don't do it for Obama Or Pikachu I don't do it for Jan, Cindy Bobby or Greg I don't do it for Czechs with hairy legs I don't do it 'cause I wanna Rage against the machine I don't do it for religion Or Charlie Sheen I don't do it for the chance to be reborn Or the girl I saw last night in a porn I don't do it for FAWM Or for your mom Not trying to cure cancer Or ban the bomb I don't do it for you I don't do it for you
10.
Nowhere To Go But Down 03:03
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Your huddled masses a boiling frog A massive walking coma for the sirens' song The steam is rising and it won't be long Because there's nowhere to go but down... Proud and myopic Half out of their minds Facing the gallows dressed to the nines There's no time to repent when you've Seen the Seventh Sign 'Cause there's nowhere to go but down... When the water starts rising And the stars start coming down When the seas turn black And the blood flows from the ground Just look up to the skies You'll see the old gods coming around And there's nowhere to go but down...
11.
It's So Cold 03:25
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As the snow turns to ice It scrapes the bottom and sides of my car I wish I had a garage It's so cold, I might slip My hands are chapped and so are my lips And the snowman's smile has fallen It's so cold... Leaves blow across the snow Bare branches are about to break They've had all they can take It's so cold, Kitty won't get out of bed His nose is chapped and red He said "Let's not venture out" It's so cold... The zero degree wind shear Lifts my hair above my ears White whirlwinds from the roof When the snow has turned to ice We'll run a hotel for the mice My feet are like ice. Yikes! It's cold! It's so cold... Listen to what the weatherman told ya Hitch a ride to sunny Minnesota Paradise Time to get out and shovel snow Get ready (1 minute, GO!) It's all ice! It's so cold...
12.
Ese Coyote 05:49
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It was a hot night in June When they came for Ese Coyote in his home On a tip from a so-called friend They found him there alone Under cover of the night And always on the run Relying on his cunning He never owned a gun Harboring a fugitive His German born wife The mighty Ese Coyote Was about to lose his life And all for love... They had been forced into hiding and running From corruption of the law A powerful man met his end And his Schatze had been set up for the fall Rousted from their slumber In the middle of the night Backed into a corner On the eve before their flight Ese and his love were on the edge of nevermore And the man who'd come to take her Now was bleeding on the floor And all for love... He had just sent her away With the promise he would be with her anew He had but one life to save And the time was coming due They stormed in through the windows Kicking in the door A hail of bullets flying As they dropped him to the floor "You'll tell us where she is If you want your life saved" The mighty Ese Coyote took that secret to his grave It was a hot Summer day When they planned to put his body in the ground Ashen and white, and dripping with sweat The trembling voice of the mortician told them His body was not to be found And all for love...
13.
Nobody Knows Who I Am 05:52
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I'm just a stray Sitting here watching you day after day You could use me if I had millions of friends But all by myself, I'm so small in your lens So I'll wait here and here I'll stay put And I'll only be noticed when I'm underfoot I was around before you came along And I'll be here for centuries after you're gone But nobody knows who I am... The hustle and bustle of everyday life, it consumes you Places to go and people to see While everything changes around you but me I know deep inside you You wish for the world to slow down I was around when the world was alone I'm no Gibraltar but I've held my own And nobody knows who I am... So I'm steadfast and silent and hard I pine for attention right in your back yard I can wait here until the Sun goes cold But I'd rather be flashy. Why can't I be bold? But I'm plain, unassuming and special to no one but me And nobody knows who I am... You can break me if you use enough force You can make me your metaphor You can kick me on your way passing by You all seem to lead such interesting lives But nobody knows who I am...
14.
A Birthday Party For My Kitty 14:25
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We'll have a birthday party for my kitty Just as soon as he can tell me When he was born (meow)

about

All songs were recorded on Sweetbrier Avenue.

credits

released January 1, 2012

Chris Shepard - guitars, vocals, percussion, trombone, jaw harp, jug, guiro, melodium
Laureen Allen - additional vocals and percussion on 10 & 14
Scallop Allen-Shepard - additional vocalizations on 14

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Chris Shepard Roanoke, Virginia

"Chris Shepard ... an uncompromising original artist with a unique, darkly comic vision. He is also able to write affecting lyrics and memorable melodies in conventional song format. As a performer, he has a powerful and rhythmic guitar technique, and sings with exceptional strength and range. He deserves widespread recognition."

Randy Walker, Roanoke Times ... more

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