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You Look Better In A Mask

by Chris Shepard

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Leonard Poirier
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lyrics

I pulled into the supermarket parking lot, grabbed my reusable bags, because I care about the environment
I put on my fashionable mask, 'cause they've got this pandemic on and it's literally the least I can do

I get a cart and I commence to shopping
Turning down the cereal aisle, I see the entire face of a man who simply doesn't care

Now, aside from his bald-faced solipsism, I would say his face would be best described as "unfit for vision"

I wondered how a man so unburdened by the curse of beauty would insist upon putting his fellow humans at risk just to gaze upon his smug face, itself a waving flag of rampant selfishness...and an ugly one at that

You look better in a mask
You look better undercover
Cover up your face and do everyone a favor

You look better in a mask
Cover up that mug
With a face like yours
You'd look better swept under the rug

Well, I thought about perhaps explaining to this man the benefits of wearing a simple piece of protective clothing during a global pandemic

That the mantras of "Faith over fear" and personal freedom fall on the deaf ears of a virus that has no political affiliation

And that a mask can not only be a personal fashion statement in an attempt to make a bad situation somehow more tolerable

But it would almost certainly be much more comfortable than being in a hospital bed hooked to a ventilator
And, to be honest, even the most unattractive of masks looks better than your silly goatee and Oakley sunglasses

You look better in a mask
You look better undercover
Cover up your face and do everyone a favor

You look better in a mask
Cover up that mug
With a face like yours
You'd look better swept under the rug

Ladies and gentlemen, I have something to say
Please gather at the front of the stage
As I look out upon this largely homogeneous sea of bare faces, a crowd of easels with no discernible art of any magnitude, a veritable paragon of evolution's apathy toward objective beauty, nature's most compelling evidence of the outward manifestation of stunted intelligence. I say unto this collection of unimpressive and increasingly angry visages...

You look better in a mask
You look better undercover
Cover up your face and do everyone a favor

You look better in a mask
Cover up that mug
With a face like yours
You'd look better swept under the rug

Logic is toxic to the willfully ignorant
They dig in their heels and they blame the government or whatever half-baked conspiracy they find on the internet, like all of this is headed toward Sharia law

Well, I've gotta say that every time I see you walking through the grocery store with that smug antagonistic look of self-satisfaction

That you missed a golden opportunity to shield your face from public scrutiny in spite of your cries of imagined tyranny

You look better in a mask
You look better undercover
Cover up your face and do everyone a favor

You look better in a mask
Cover up that mug
With a face like yours
You'd look better swept under a rug

You look better in a mask
You look better undercover
Cover up your face and do everyone a favor

You look better in a mask
Cover up that mug
If not for public health
Then for somebody you love

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released March 8, 2021

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Chris Shepard Roanoke, Virginia

"Chris Shepard ... an uncompromising original artist with a unique, darkly comic vision. He is also able to write affecting lyrics and memorable melodies in conventional song format. As a performer, he has a powerful and rhythmic guitar technique, and sings with exceptional strength and range. He deserves widespread recognition."

Randy Walker, Roanoke Times ... more

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