The Sweetbrier Sessions

by Chris Shepard

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1.
2.
03:07
3.
4.
01:20
5.
03:30
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.
11.
03:25
12.
05:49
13.
14.

about

All songs were recorded on Sweetbrier Avenue.

credits

released January 1, 2012

Chris Shepard - everything
Laureen Allen - additional vocals and percussion on 10 & 14
Scallop Allen-Shepard - additional vocalizations on 14

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all rights reserved

about

Chris Shepard Roanoke, Virginia

"Chris Shepard ... an uncompromising original artist with a unique, darkly comic vision. He is also able to write affecting lyrics and memorable melodies in conventional song format. As a performer, he has a powerful and rhythmic guitar technique, and sings with exceptional strength and range. He deserves widespread recognition."

Randy Walker, Roanoke Times
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Track Name: A Little Song
I'm gonna write a little song
A little song, the kind of song
They put in independent movies
Soft and cute and kind of quirky

Just a little film about a nerd
And some cute girl he likes a lot
And how they'll grow up somehow
Even though the movie has no plot

It has no plot

A little film for little people
Doing little things
In little Midwest towns
And wearing all their retro little clothes

It's a new cult classic
With its dialogue that never happens
In the real world
But we'll let it pass because it's quotable

It's so quotable

I guess by now you've noticed
That I wrote a song without a chorus
That's the way you write a song
For independent movies

Just a little song to get you in the mood
And make you feel so clever
All your friends are coming over
And they'll all think you're so cool

You're so cool

And you can say you saw it at Sundance
Your secret's safe with me
'Cause we both know you saw it last weekend
On IFC

I'm gonna write a little song
A tiny little song you might expect
To hear the little hero
Of this movie sing

A little movie by a little guy
And a director who you've never heard of
But at least he isn't Jerry Bruckheimer

He's not that guy

I hope you've enjoyed my little song
And now, the opening credits are done
Track Name: Bad Chicken
Living hard in the land of plenty
All alone in a room of many
Prone to occasional anger flare-ups
He was born in a lab

No one in his family
Will let him have pictures of their children
It's so hard to think; he's so backed up
He'll turn you out for his attention

Bad Chicken, Bad Chicken...

Making the scene and working the room
Shaking hands with the hand of doom
Smoking crack in Switzerland
With his loyal army of prostitutes

Hiding behind the barn door
Making his alliances with sheep
Dragging his hydrocele around
He speaks with authority

Bad Chicken, Bad Chicken...

It's all about kissing that Bad Chicken ass
If you wanna get in black and white

Half blind with cataracts
He shows up early, steals the gravy
Fresh out of metaphors
His perception is reality

Pollo malo...
Track Name: Everybody's Out To Get Me
Everybody's out to get me
Out to get me
Everybody's out to get me
Everybody's trying to paint me as incompetent, incompetent
Everybody's out to get me
Nobody likes me
Everybody's out to get me

Everything's been so hard
I think it's time I found a new schoolyard

I've tried to be so nice
But my future wife is cold as ice

If they don't like me I'll burn this whole place down

Everybody's out to get me
Everybody's out to get me
Nobody likes me
Everybody's trying to paint me as incompetent, incompetent
Everybody's out to get me
Nobody likes me
Everybody's out to get me

You piss on my endeavors
I can stare at you like this forever

You think I am below you
But you see the face I choose to show you

And if you don't like me, I'll burn this whole place down

Everybody's out to get me
Out to get me
Everybody's out to get me
Everybody's trying to paint me as incompetent, incompetent
Everybody's out to get me
Nobody likes me
Everybody's out to get me
etc

I've got you in my mind
Now I'm sitting here just biding time

To say I'm mentally defective
Makes me feel so ineffective

You can all go straight to Hell
You just want to feel good about yourselves
By putting me down and dragging me down
And putting and dragging me down

And if you don't like me, I'll burn this whole place down

Everybody's out to get me
Out to get me
Everybody's out to get me

Everybody's out to get me
Out to get me
Everybody's out to get me
Everybody's trying to paint me as incompetent, incompetent

Everybody's out to get me
Everybody's out to get me
Nobody likes me
Everybody's out to get me
Out to get me
Everybody's trying to paint me as incompetent, incompetent
They all think I'm stupid
They don't get me
But you'll get me
Track Name: Corn Pone
Corn pone
Lovin' that down home corn pone flavor tonight
Corn pone
Rockin' and a rollin' with a corn pone dinner tonight

Corn pone
Cookin' up some corn pone
Doin' that pone up right

Corn pone
Rockin' with the corn pone
Corn pone dinner tonight

Corn pone
Lovin' up the corn pone
Havin' me another bite of that

Corn porn
Eatin' some corn pone
Corn pone dinner tonight

Corn pone
Lovin' that down home corn pone flavor tonight
Corn pone
Rockin' and a rollin' with a corn pone dinner tonight

Corn pone
Cookin' up some corn pone
Doin' that pone up right

Corn pone
Rockin' with the corn pone
Corn pone dinner tonight

Corn pone
Lovin' up the corn pone
Havin' me another bite of that

Corn pone
Corn pone kitty
Corn pone kitty tonight
Track Name: Justified
98 bottles of beer on the wall
And a 5 gallon bottle of gin
A big stuffed head of a deer on the wall
And he's gone out huntin' again

He shot that bird right out of the sky
And he stuffed him into a bag
He shot a squirrel or two
And a fox and a rabbit
Then he caught sight of a stag

He loads the ammunition
He sets his shot up so perfectly
He didn't hear the shot from a man
With a 30 ought 6 in an old deer stand
Their fading eyes met across the forest floor

I call that justified

It was down to the wire for 20 to life
And the gavel's coming down
He had his life on the line with his head on the block
And the attention of the town

That son of a bitch was guilty as sin
And his lawyer ran the show
Said there ain't no proof in a "he said, she said"
Judge just let him go

His crime produced an offspring
That boy, he grew up fast...fast and mean
He was the top cop on the block
And one night on a routine traffic stop
His long lost dad drew a piece
And that boy shot him dead

I call that justified

When a dog bites the hand that binds
I call that justified
When you're blown apart by your own landmine
I call that justified
When you're killing on safari and your elephant gun jams
And you're laying there flat as a pancake in the Serengeti sand

That's justified

When a dog bites the hand that hits
I call that justified
When you're making bombs at home and blown to bits
That's justified
When you're choking on foie gras and veal
I call that justified
When poachers become lion meals
I call that justified

If you're in that mob mentality and you join in her attack
When you're on your knees in Cell Block B
Those boys'll get you back

If you're thumping the good book and full of hate
I hope you like it hot
'Cause you might just find out that
The afterlife's not what you thought

That's justified
Track Name: Kick The Ladder Out
There's a lot of talk of taking away
I hear they're taking away
Don't really know what I know
But I know what they're telling me
I know how to say what they're telling me
They're gonna take it away

I've got something that they all want to have
What they need, but they're telling me it's not a right
So they're telling me I've gotta keep it all to myself
If I've got it and they've got it then it's not my own

It's a big boondoggle
Everybody everybody who's anybody knows
It's a whole lot of rubble
It's as plain as the face on the front of your nose

I made it
Kick the ladder out

They keep telling me they want their rights
And the rights are the rights of the whites like me
They keep telling me they want to move in
Don't want to live in sin
They want to sin like me

They keep telling me he's not my man
He's from a foreign land
He's not a man like me
They keep telling me, they're telling me
The things that I want to hear
I want to live in fear

It's a big boondoggle
Everybody's somebody who nobody knows
We're in a whole lot of trouble
It's a whole lot of holes where the money goes

I made it
Kick the ladder out

They keep telling me he's selling us out
When he kowtow bows and he's selling us
Selling us something we don't need 'cause we already have
But nobody else has
But we have, so we don't need

If they give everyone what we have
What we have won't be worth giving away
They keep telling me we need disparity and relativity
We need poverty

It's a big bamboozle
By everyone The One sees fit to anoint
It's a mass refusal
It's as plain as a palm reader's talking points

I made it
Kick the ladder out
Track Name: If You Don't Want Me
I've taken my time
And I've given it
But you've got your life
And you're living it

And it feels like Fall today
And a feeling of change has washed over me
And I've got only one thing to say

If you don't want me...
I don't want you

Maybe I've tried a little too hard
And pushed you away just a little too far
But I'm too old to pretend
That I can't see the imminent end
So it's good night and lights out, my friend

If you don't want me...
I don't want you

I've gone over everything
That I can think to change
And I've given enough of my soul
I'm tired of wasting my time on futility
So now I'm releasing your hold

If you don't want me...
I don't want you

So I'll go it alone
As I always have
There's no use in fooling myself
In my little world there is no one else
And I'm thinking I like it that way

If you don't want me...
I don't want you
Track Name: I Don't Do It For You
I don't do it for the chicks
I don't do it for hicks
I try to keep out of politics

I don't do it for the money
Or to change the world
And I won't play Buffett or Brown Eyed Girl

I don't do it for the paper or the radio
And if you want it turned down
Then the answer's No

I'm not trying to build a feel-good community
And I don't really care what you think of me

I don't do it for you... x2

I don't do it for dogs
I don't do it for frogs
Bad Chickens or the people of Prague

I don't do it for the Pope or the Government
Or a 50 lb bag of peppermints

I don't do it for the kids
Or to free Tibet
For the long-haired hippies
Or the New York Mets

I don't do it for a gold-plated statue
That I'll keep in the laundry room

I don't do it for you... x2

I don't do it for fame
Or a fancy car
Or to cop free drinks at an upscale bar

I don't do it for drugs
Or to get V.D.
Or to flash my cooch on TMZ


I don't do it for a mansion in Malibu
I don't do it for Horton
When he hears a Who

I don't do it for 3
When I gotta do 4
I do it when I do it
Cause I gotta do more

But I don't do it for you... x2

It always makes me sick to see somebody courting relevance
If only they'd have stayed at home they might get some respect from me
But in this land of rampant greed, there is no room for dignity.

I don't do it for you...

I don't do it for an image
Or to be the brand
I don't care if you're Dylan
Or the Muffin Man

I don't do it for weddings
Or the dinner crowd
Hosni Mubarak or Chairman Mao

I don't do it for the jerks
At the end of the road
Purple People Eaters
Or Mr. Toad

I don't do it for the Bible
Or Moby Dick
Or that dog-killing motherfucker
Michael Vick

And I don't do it for you... x2

I don't do it for the critics
Or a pat on the back
I don't do it for the press
Or a bag full of crack

I don't do it for polls
I don't do it for moles
Charities
Or cinnamon rolls


I don't do it for anonymous online friends
I don't do it 'cause I need to
Keep up with trends

I don't do it for strippers
Or Mickey Roarke
Ronald Reagan or Robert Bork

I don't do it for you... x4

I don't do it for the people of Belarus
Or a 5 gallon bucket
Of chocolate mousse

I don't do it for the neighbors
Or their yappy dogs
I don't do it for Legos
Or Lincoln Logs

I don't do it for Tron
Or Winnie the Pooh
John the Baptist or Mr. Magoo

I don't do it for the church
Or the fear of Hell
Cosmo or Mademoiselle

I don't do it for PETA
AIDS or falafel
Or Thelma's Chicken & Waffles

I don't do it for tequila
Or Mountain Dew
I don't do it for Obama
Or Pikachu

I don't do it for Jan, Cindy
Bobby or Greg
I don't do it for Czechs with hairy legs

I don't do it 'cause I wanna
Rage against the machines
I don't do it for religion
Or Charlie Sheen

I don't do it for the chance to be reborn
Or the girl I saw last night in a porn

I don't do it for FAWM
Or for your mom
Not trying to cure cancer
Or ban the bomb

I don't do it for you
I don't do it for you
Track Name: Nowhere To Go But Down
Your huddled masses a boiling frog
A massive walking coma for the sirens' song
The steam is rising and it won't be long

Because there's nowhere to go but down...

Proud and myopic
Half out of their minds
Facing the gallows dressed to the nines
There's no time to repent when you've
Seen the Seventh Sign
'Cause there's nowhere to go but down...

When the water starts rising
And the stars start coming down
When the seas turn black
And the blood flows from the ground
Just look up to the skies
You'll see the old gods coming around

And there's nowhere to go but down...
Track Name: It's So Cold
As the snow turns to ice
It scrapes the bottom and sides of my car
I wish I had a garage

It's so cold, I might slip
My hands are chapped and so are my lips
And the snowman's smile has fallen

It's so cold...

Leaves blow across the snow
Bare branches are about to break
They've had all they can take

It's so cold, Kitty won't get out of bed
His nose is chapped and red
He said "Let's not venture out"

It's so cold...

The zero degree wind shear
Lifts my hair above my ears
White whirlwinds from the roof

When the snow has turned to ice
We'll run a hotel for the mice
My feet are like ice. Yikes! It's cold!

It's so cold...

Listen to what the weatherman told ya
Hitch a ride to sunny Minnesota
Paradise

Time to get out and shovel snow
Get ready (1 minute, GO!)
It's all ice!

It's so cold...
Track Name: Ese Coyote
It was a hot night in June
When they came for Ese Coyote in his home
On a tip from a so-called friend
They found him there alone

Under cover of the night
And always on the run
Relying on his cunning
He never owned a gun

Harboring a fugitive
His German born wife
The mighty Ese Coyote
Was about to lose his life

And all for love...

They had been forced into hiding and running
From corruption of the law
A powerful man met his end
And his Schatze had been set up for the fall

Rousted from their slumber
In the middle of the night
Backed into a corner
On the eve before their flight

Ese and his love were on the edge of nevermore
And the man who'd come to take her
Now was bleeding on the floor

And all for love...

He had just sent her away
With the promise he would be with her anew
He had but one life to save
And the time was coming due

They stormed in through the windows
Kicking in the door
A hail of bullets flying
As they dropped him to the floor

"You'll tell us where she is
If you want your life saved"
The mighty Ese Coyote took that secret to his grave

It was a hot Summer day
When they planned to put his body in the ground
Ashen and white, and dripping with sweat
The trembling voice of the mortician told them
His body was not to be found

And all for love...
Track Name: Nobody Knows Who I Am
I'm just a stray
Sitting here watching you day after day
You could use me if I had millions of friends
But all by myself, I'm so small in your lens

So I'll wait here and here I'll stay put
And I'll only be noticed when I'm underfoot

I was around before you came along
And I'll be here for centuries after you're gone

But nobody knows who I am...

The hustle and bustle of everyday life, it consumes you
Places to go and people to see
While everything changes around you but me
I know deep inside you
You wish for the world to slow down

I was around when the world was alone
I'm no Gibraltar but I've held my own

And nobody knows who I am...

So I'm steadfast and silent and hard
I pine for attention right in your back yard
I can wait here until the Sun goes cold
But I'd rather be flashy. Why can't I be bold?
But I'm plain, unassuming and special to no one but me

And nobody knows who I am...

You can break me if you use enough force
You can make me your metaphor
You can kick me on your way passing by
You all seem to lead such interesting lives

But nobody knows who I am...
Track Name: A Birthday Party For My Kitty
We'll have a birthday party for my kitty
Just as soon as he can tell me
When he was born

(meow)