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Oddities

by Chris Shepard

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1.
God Of Hell 04:21
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I’ve been locked inside this windowless cell. I’m my own roommate and he hates himself. A rake who's seen better days, A misanthrope with philandering ways. Just me and my cat in this den of sin. I melt my heart in a spoon, inject it back in A house on fire in a fever dream, A dead leaf floating on a chemical stream. Fell in love with a lizard, wound up with the tail, Now she's doing time with the God of Hell. Heaven knows I’m miserable, if Heaven knows I’m alive. They keep me all but invincible so I can suffer and survive. And feel the pain of every broken heart and never die And don’t forget my jacket of flies, And when everyone’s laid out on my sleeve, The angels sing on high to the God of Hell. If it’s not raining fire, I think I’ll stay in, Drown in my desire, teach my sorrows to swim, Boiling blood from an anonymous pen, Poisoned blood from a life of sin, Someone’s got to die before it’s all put to bed, Sent away with the seed of the lie in your head Fell asleep with an angel, woke up with the dead, And your last unanswered call’s from the God of Hell. I’m your God of Hell… I’m your God of Hell… I’m your God of Hell… I’m your God of Hell…
2.
Blue Lightning 02:01
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3.
Crying Heart 04:38
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I feel my heart crying out to my lone baby I hear my heart crying out for you Ain't nobody in the world I know Can get my weary body home so I can say goodbye My roots, I fear, are all alone I'll be leaving 'fore the dawn Forever may I rise Put my body in a muddy hole Send my money to my baby and tell her that I tried Tell my baby that I love her Tell her I said goodbye I feel my heart crying out to my lone baby I hear my heart crying out for you When I see you alone in your bed I hear your voice in my head And there's a world in the reflection of the pinpoint that you sent Ain't no woman in the world I know Can wait for me forever like I ask my love to do And if my love should feel alone Remember that I promise I will hover over you Oh I'll hover over you Even with my burden I'll hover over you And you'll hear my voice in your head Feel me beside you in your bed There's an endless world residing in the time that we spend I feel my heart crying out to my lone baby I hear my heart crying out for you
4.
Corn Pone 01:54
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Corn pone Lovin' that down home corn pone flavor tonight Corn pone Rockin' and a rollin' with a corn pone dinner tonight Corn pone Cookin' up some corn pone Doin' that pone up right Corn pone Rockin' with the corn pone Corn pone dinner tonight Corn pone Lovin' up the corn pone Havin' me another bite of that Corn porn Eatin' some corn pone Corn pone dinner tonight Corn pone Lovin' that down home corn pone flavor tonight Corn pone Rockin' and a rollin' with a corn pone dinner tonight Corn pone Cookin' up some corn pone Doin' that pone up right Corn pone Rockin' with the corn pone Corn pone dinner tonight Corn pone Lovin' up the corn pone Havin' me another bite of that Corn pone Corn pone kitty Corn pone kitty tonight
5.
Hit 'Em From The Ground Up 03:33
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Hit 'Em From The Ground Up And knock them old men down Hit 'Em From The Ground Up And make a terrible sound Hit 'Em From The Ground Up And knock 'em down on the floor Hit 'Em From The Ground Up Until we all get bored Oooo...hit 'em with a left, hit 'em with a right...hit 'em with a Ooooo....hit 'em and hit 'em and hit 'em again Hit 'Em From The Ground Up And make a terrible sound Hit 'Em From The Ground Up And spread those pheromones around Hit 'Em From The Ground Up They'll never forget your name Hit 'Em From The Ground Up And then they won't be the same Oooo...hit 'em with a left, hit 'em with a right, hit 'em with a Ooooo....hit 'em and hit 'em and hit 'em again Oooo...hit 'em with a left, hit 'em with a right, hit 'em with a Hit 'em and hit 'em and hit 'em in the head Oh, I think I need some medication Hit 'Em From The Ground Up And knock them old men down Hit 'Em From The Ground Up And make a terrible sound Hit 'Em From The Ground Up And knock 'em down on the floor Hit 'Em From The Ground Up Until we all get bored Oooo...hit 'em with a left, hit 'em with a right, hit 'em with a Ooooo....hit 'em and hit 'em and hit 'em again Hit 'Em From The Ground Up (ad lib jibberish to end)
6.
I Think I Could Be Good Friends With A Bear 03:01
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I think I could be good friends with a bear Me and my bear would go everywhere He'll keep me warm when I get cold He'll tell me jokes when I get old I think I could be good friends with a bear We'll I'm all fed up with the 9 to 5 And I wanna go out and feel alive Wanna get a log cabin on a patch of land I want to be a real hardcore mountain man But when you're out in the great unknown The strongest man can feel alone I think I could be good friends with a bear I think I could be good friends with a bear Me and my bear would go everywhere No one there but me and a bear We'd really make an awesome pair I think I could be good friends with a bear Day to day, we live amongst the trees It's just my big ol' bear and me We go to the river and have a drink And we don't have to care what people think They've no idea how cool it feels To hang with a bear and share your meals I think I could be good friends with a bear I think I could be good friends with a bear Me and my bear would go everywhere Just my big ol' bear and me There is no better company I think I could be good friends with a bear Me and my bear are thick as thieves We roll around and play in the Autumn leaves We swim in a lake when the sun is hot And knows all the good fishin' spots And when it gets real cold and late We'll curl up by the fire and hibernate I think I could be good friends with a bear I think I could be good friends with a bear Me and my bear would go everywhere With my bear I can do no wrong And he knows the words to all my songs I think I could be good friends with a bear And when I'm old and poor of health I know I won't be by myself I'll have my bear to keep me company And when I slip these surly bonds He'll let a growl out when I'm gone I think I could be good friends with a bear I think I could be good friends with a bear Me and my bear we'll go everywhere We'll live like kings on the fat of the land Just a big fat bear and a little old man I think I could be good friends with a bear He'll bring me up when I get down We'll hit the beach and drive through town I think I could be good friends with a bear
7.
Bob's Bob-A-Que 03:02
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Come on down and bring a fork It looks like beef and tastes like pork We'd love to have you for a bite Sink your teeth right through the skin It tastes too good to be a sin Heaven tastes much better when she puts up a fight Infant, teen, octogenarian Slow-roasted vegetarian Braised Hell's Angel right off the hog Shish Kabob, Steak Diane Reuben and Stew fried up in a pan Would you like to try my smoked meat log? At Bob's Bob-A-Que We've got every flavor known of man At Bob's Bob-A-Que Stop in once, you'll be a lifetime fan We've got ladyfingers, boneless breasts Banana leaves to wrap the rest Hold her down and grab yourself a thigh Hit the road; the taste is real There's a little bit of me in every meal Hell, I'm the gristle in your mincemeat pie At Bob's Bob-A-Que We'd love to see you walkin' through our door At Bob's Bob-A-Que You're not just a customer, You're so much more Doctors, lawyers, diabetics Red wine marinated Catholics Actors, nurses, veterinarians Did I mention vegetarians? Butchers, bakers, census takers A former coach from the LA Lakers Random folks picked up in bars Certified disease-free porn stars Special of the day is 12 step liver pate With a side of bacon last seen Rakin' on a Macon, Georgia Autumn day Distance runners, country singers A 2 for 1 special on dead ringers A music critic, broiled and minced Short on taste and not much substance At Bob's Bob-A-Que...
8.
The Legend Of Buttbeard 02:44
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He’s shiftless, listless And maybe a little depressed He’s sailing on the high seas And his ship is in distress He only has one suit And he didn’t bring a tailor And he curses like an ass-banged sailor He’s Buttbeard… A man wrecked from collision Now suffers from the nods Requests the help of Buttbeard And his crew of motley sods Buttbeard takes the case Contingent on the purse Appearing in the Beard’s commercial Is the man’s new curse He’s Buttbeard… (He’ll take your soul) Buttbeard set his course Toward an errant schooner’s path Chased the floating paramedics To the grisly aftermath Found the sole survivor Floating face down in the sea Won his man a hefty purse Then he put him on TV He’s Buttbeard… There’s mutiny on the Buttboat As morale begins to fade The depositions last too long And no one’s getting paid The crew took all the lifeboats And the rum is almost gone But in spite of overwhelming odds That Ass Boat travels on… He’s Buttbeard… (You’re damn right)
9.
Pu-239 01:10
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Plutonium, like most metals, has a bright silvery appearance at first, much like nickel, but it oxidizes very quickly to a dark grey, although yellow and olive green have also been reported. Unlike most metals, it is not a good conductor of heat or electricity. It has a low melting point and an unusually high boiling point. Unlike most metals, plutonium increases in density when it melts. Minute traces of plutonium are commonly found in the human body due mostly to the 550 atmospheric and underwater nuclear tests that have been carried out. Because it is deliberately manufactured for nuclear weapons and nuclear reactors, Plutonium 239 is the most abundant isotope of plutonium by far.
10.
Bomb Shelter 04:24
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In my exhaustion Everything folds into you And I'm losing my grip on the edge of the envelope Where I will be cut in two In your confusion You believe every word that I said There'll be time for your penance when you have grown old And I'm already several years dead They'll have hated me They'll be hating you As you cry in your Bomb Shelter... I'll play up the martyr As everything comes into view And I'll lie here so helpless and wait for my prey And I'll swear it all comes down to you As we lie underground All of our truths turn to lore And you'll stare at your four walls and cry to your ceiling And scrape your bare feet on the floor Of your Bomb Shelter... They'll be hating you And they'll never let you forget their incorruptible friend That they thought they knew You'll be hating me All the secret words we spoke Won't remind you of love... You took all your anger And you pierced me repeatedly Then you kissed me to sleep and you left a dull ache Where my heart used to be You will know me immortal From only a cursory glance And they'll rain down upon you with fury so pious and wicked You won't think your four walls can last
11.
Kick The Loud One Out 07:52
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There's democracy between the forks of your tongue And it's no lie that you've convinced them all To stay so, so quiet...so quiet So you can rise above...rise above There's mutiny when you wage your secret peaceful war With your incestuous cabinet of fools Now someone's kicking around And pulling the curtain back Kick the loud one out Before we all go down There's hypocrisy in the way you wave your flag You feed your army with the need to feed their sympathy for you And all that good will serves you well When you need someone When you need someone to believe your ruse You thrive on that compliance Such an angelic whore Kick the loud one out Before they all find out Set upon him Play a rich man's game of playing poor With all the cancer that you cut out There must be an accord You're seeking the good life As the spoils of war So kick out the ladder And piss up a rope Kick the loud one out You're pulling out the weeds
12.
Lonely Walls 01:22
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credits

released November 15, 2017

God Of Hell
Chris Shepard – Guitar, Vocals, Maracas, Bodhran

Blue Lightning
Chris Shepard – Guitar, Bones

Crying Heart
Chris Shepard – Guitar, Vocals

Corn Pone
Chris Shepard – Guitar, Vocals
Meredith Marsh – Viola
Cat Conover – Egg Shaker, Background Vocals
Joy Truskowski – Spoons, Background Vocals
Richard Harvey – Banjo
Doug Marion – Percussion

Hit ‘Em From The Ground up
Chris Shepard – Guitar, Vocals, Bones

I Think I Could Be Good Friends With A Bear
Chris Shepard – Guitar, Vocals, Tambourine

Bob’s Bob-A-Que
Chris Shepard – Guitar, Vocals, Jaw Harp

The Legend Of Buttbeard
Chris Shepard – Guitar, Vocals
Bob Uryniak – Drums
Brian Rizzo – Bass

PU 239
Chris Shepard – Bass, Vocals

Bomb Shelter
Chris Shepard – Guitar, Vocals
Meredith Marsh – Cello
Cat Conover – Oboe
Joy Truskowski – Background Vocals
Richard Harvey – Violin
Doug Marion – Percussion

Kick The Loud One Out
Chris Shepard – Guitar, Vocals

Lonely Walls
Chris Shepard – Guitar

Front Cover Art by Laureen M. Allen

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Chris Shepard Roanoke, Virginia

"Chris Shepard ... an uncompromising original artist with a unique, darkly comic vision. He is also able to write affecting lyrics and memorable melodies in conventional song format. As a performer, he has a powerful and rhythmic guitar technique, and sings with exceptional strength and range. He deserves widespread recognition."

Randy Walker, Roanoke Times ... more

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